Stop and Listen

Jesus said, “Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:42)

We have all heard the story of Jesus visiting the sisters Martha and Mary many times. Martha is working hard serving Jesus, while Mary sits at the feet of the Lord, listening to Him speak. Martha, frustrated with having to do all the work, came to Jesus and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” Jesus replied, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken from her.”

In the past, when I’ve heard this story or read these verses, I often felt as if Jesus was admonishing Martha. However, while praying and reflecting over these Scriptures, I realized that’s not what’s going on at all. Jesus is speaking to her in love, not in frustration or anger, and you’ll notice Jesus really doesn’t even correct her. He’s also not telling Martha that what she is doing is unimportant. Martha is actively living and practicing her faith; she’s serving Jesus. This is a very good thing, and there is, of course, nothing wrong with that.

That being the case, what was the message Jesus was trying to get Martha to understand, and how does that affect our life of faith and our relationship to the Lord? When Martha went to Jesus, all in a tizzy, and asked Him to tell Mary to help her with the serving, Jesus replied, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken from her.”

So, what’s the “one thing” Mary had chosen that Jesus called “the better part”? What could possibly be the one thing that is better than serving the Lord, as Martha clearly was? The answer is that Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him speak. Mary wasn’t lazy, and she knew that Martha needed help, but she chose to spend time with the Lord, getting to know Him better, growing in her relationship with Him, and learning from the words He spoke to her. Even though she knew that her sister would be upset, Mary chose to tune out the noise of the world and focus on Jesus alone, quietly contemplating every word that He spoke to her.

While Jesus does tell us that this is the better part, He doesn’t say that serving Him isn’t important—just that spending time with Him in silence, listening to Him, is more important! For us, this is a little counterintuitive because in our world, we always feel like we need to be doing something. But the truth is, there is nothing more important than spending time with the Lord in silence, listening to Him. Because if we’re not listening, we’re going to miss whatever God is speaking to our hearts. In addition, we can’t build a relationship with anyone, much less God, if we’re doing all the talking.

Listening to God is, in fact, an essential element of our faith, and if we really want to know Jesus, it’s not optional! Paragraph 2708 of the Catechism points this out, quoting St. Gregory the Great, who explains that “Mary’s choice represents the life of contemplation, which is superior to the active life of service. Though both have merit, it prioritizes an intimate relationship with Jesus over the distractions of life.”

In light of this, if we look at Jesus’ encounter with Martha and Mary and how He responded to what each woman was doing, we are drawn to ask ourselves questions like: In my relationship with Jesus, am I more of a Martha or a Mary? Am I spending time in silence listening to the Lord, or am I just doing the busy work and maybe even just checking the basic boxes of faith out of obligation or habit, thinking, I’m good, right, Lord? I’m only human—what more could Jesus want of me?

This is something we all need to be wary of, especially Bishops, Priests, Deacons, and those living the religious life. We can become so busy serving the Lord that we stop praying as we should, we stop spending time with Him, we stop listening, and before we know it, our relationship with the Lord is severely damaged or even completely broken. My classmates and I were told this many times in diaconate formation. I remember early on one of the formation leaders telling us, “If you ever meet a priest or deacon who is not living his vocation, all you have to do is look at his prayer life.” He said, “Growing in your prayer life is the most important thing that should happen during these five years of diaconate formation—more important than any academic study on the faith that you will do.”

Growing in the life of prayer, however, should not be a priority only for ordained clergy. The ultimate question every Christian should regularly ask themselves is, “Am I continually growing closer to the Lord every day, or am I moving farther away?” Our own sinful inclinations and the influence of the enemy ensure that there is no middle ground in our relationship with God. We are either moving closer to Him or farther away, and the direction we’re going depends completely on our prayer life. Prayer in all its forms is how we communicate with God. It’s how we come to know Jesus.

If we look at this closely, it’s clear that the actions of Martha and Mary in the Gospel emulate two distinct parts of a good prayer life. Their interactions with Jesus show how these two very different types of prayer can help us grow closer to Jesus—or push us away if we start to make it about us instead of Jesus. A good example and analogy of this can be seen in the blueprint our diaconate formators gave us to help us build a strong prayer life. To my classmates and me, what they asked us to do seemed pretty radical and near impossible. Let’s see what you think.

They asked us to do these five things:

To go to Mass every day.
To do Morning and Evening Prayer every day.
To pray the Rosary every day.
To do a deep dive into the Scriptures every day.
To do a Holy Hour in Adoration every day.

When we were told to do a Holy Hour in Adoration every day, one of my classmates raised his hand and asked, “At my parish, we only have Adoration one day a week—how am I supposed to do that?” One of our diaconal formators replied, “Really, I’m surprised you didn’t know that from the moment you step into any Catholic church, you are in Adoration. Jesus is there in the tabernacle 24/7. Why do you think we genuflect before we sit down? Why do you think we’re quiet and reverent in the church?” Boy, was I glad I didn’t raise my hand and ask that question. Truth be told, I almost did.

The first four things they asked us to do daily could be compared to the way Martha was serving the Lord. Daily Mass, Morning and Evening Prayer, the Rosary, and Scripture Study are things that will help anyone grow in their spiritual life. They are very active ways in which we spend time with the Lord in prayer. These types of things, and many more, are very beneficial ways of growing in our relationship with Jesus; however, the culmination of all this activity—the hinge pin that makes it work—comes in the fifth thing they asked us to do: a daily Holy Hour in Adoration. This is the thing that best compares to what Mary was doing—the better part—sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him.

Of course, I am not saying that everyone has to do these five prayerful practices every day; however, I am saying that if we’re not spending some time in silence listening to Jesus every day, we are not going to know Him as we should. That’s just the truth! Since He’s actually here in the church all the time, this is the best place to spend time with Jesus—sitting at His feet as Mary did, listening.

For many people, who for a multitude of reasons can’t come to the church to spend time with Jesus, finding a quiet, prayerful place to do that is very important. No matter the location, a great way to start your time with the Lord is by reading Scripture, either the daily readings or straight from the Bible, then sitting and quietly listening to what the Lord has to say to you.

Brothers and Sisters, in many ways, our reading from St. Paul to the Colossians echoes the importance of spending quiet, contemplative time with the Lord, listening to Him—of humbly surrendering ourselves to Jesus and uniting ourselves to Him, who is our Lord, our Savior, our God, and Brother. St. Paul said, “I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of His body, which is the Church.”

We may ask, what could possibly be lacking in the sufferings of Christ? He gave everything on the cross, didn’t He? Yes, He did; however, He also gave us the Church we’re a part of today, which, as St. Paul said, is His body. So, what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ? The answer is that as part of His body, the Church, we are—we’re—what’s lacking. What’s lacking in the sufferings of Christ is our participation in His sufferings. The suffering of Jesus on the cross cannot complete its intended purpose; it can’t reap the fruit of salvation He intended it to provide for His people unless each of us truly unites our sufferings to His, living our life in Him, through Him, and with Him.

My friends, we weren’t placed here on earth just to go our own way and do our own thing. We’re here for a very short time to prepare ourselves for eternity in Heaven by uniting ourselves to Jesus through His body, the Church. No matter where we are in our relationship with Jesus, we all have a long way to go to get where He wants us to be, and we can never be too close. So today, let’s start making changes to our prayer life—making additions, subtractions, edits, modifications, whatever improvements we need to make—with an emphasis on doing what Jesus called the better part: spending silent time with the Lord, listening to Him speak to us. This won’t be easy; there will be opposition, I know, because I’ve been working on it for a long time myself. But don’t be discouraged if you struggle, because even when we fail, our desire to please God does, in fact, please Him.

Amen.